Interview

Today I had my interview for RA. I felt like it really didn't go well at all, and that I didn't get the position. We'll see -- I'll find out on Monday or Tuesday (or at least that's their goal). The interview focused mainly on my weaknesses and on what I have been struggling with this semester, and I didn't feel like I showed them who I really am. I was thinking about it on the way to my interview -- I have not spent even ten minutes by myself (without working on something) in I don't even know how long, and as a result I don't even know where I am right now.

I have been struggling a lot this semester in many different ways. Some of it has to do with my course load, some has to do with the changes on my floor and in my personal life, but most of it has to do with my --- stupidity? I don't even know what. I have been procrastinating and spending my time carelessly only to realize at 1am how much homework I actually have due at 8. As a result of my poor decision making, I haven't been getting enough sleep, nutrition, or exercise; I haven't spent nearly enough time working for good grades or learning the material that I am supposed to be learning; and I also feel that my relationships with my friends have suffered.

I do think that I have improved a little bit - especially in my spiritual discipline. But there is much to still improve. I think that I have known all along what I need to do... it's doing it that's the problem.

So, anyways, at this interview we basically focused on these things that I have been struggling with, and because I haven't taken the time to process it (until now), when they asked me, "How do you deal with that?" or "What do you do to fix that?" I had to answer that I honestly don't know, because it's something that I am working through right now. I just wish that I could have shown them who I really am, instead of who I'm trying not to be.