Exciting News!!

1) I'm all moved in and ready for classes to begin (well, almost... I still need to get my books)
2) Phil and I are going to help lead youth group at our church!! I'm very excited about this... we'll be working with Jr. Highers (6th-8th grade). It's a little nerve-wracking for me, since all my experience is with children, but I'm looking forward to the new experience.
3) CLASSES START TOMORROW!!!!
4) I absolutely LOVE my apartment and all the girls I'm living with!!!! We went to Walmart today to get things to decorate the apartment, and I'm getting very excited.

That's it for now! There's a lot to do the day before classes :)

from camp

I am very excited to be writing to you from my new phone! I am at camp right now, and I was just browsing the internet and thought "I wonder if I could post from my phone?" Well, I can!

I am all moved in to my apartment on campus now! I'm quite excited about it! This semester is going to be a lot of fun, and I just know that I'm going to learn a lot!!

Yesterday I got to go out on the jetski for the first time all summer. Let me tell you - it's been too long! We also went blueberry picking yesterday. That was a lot of fun. I think most of my berries didn't make it to my bucket, though.

I started reading Wild Goose Chase this morning, and I love it!! I highly recommend this book to anyone qho wants to grow in their relationship with God and follow where God is leading them.

Okay, I'm off. Enjoy the rest of the summer!!

Summer Reflections

I can't express in words how wonderful this summer has been. After the first month of looking for a job was over, I have really been able to embrace everything that I have committed to this summer, and as a result I've enjoyed it a LOT!

I know this might sound corny to some people, but it's amazing what a difference it makes in your life to have God working in you. It seems that every time I hand something over to God, He takes care of it, and He watches over me in ways that I never even though of.

Take, for example, working at Childtime this summer. Once I finally gave it up to God and allowed Him to do whatever it was that He was going to do, all I was expecting was to get a minimum wage job that I could keep for the summer and be somewhat okay with. But no, God provided for me a job that will, I believe, eventually turn into a carreer. A job that I have loved so much and cried about leaving on my last day.

I was praying yesterday, and just thanking God for all that He has been doing in my life. I don't know how much I've shared on this blog, but let me just say that this summer I have come to many realizations about where my life is headed, and I like where I'm going. Anyways, I was asking God, "Why have You chosen to bless me so abundantly??" I have friends from broken families, I know of people living in the streets, there are people who don't know the love of Christ, and yet I have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams! Why? And then, just as God always answers prayer, He led me to this passage:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
~Jeremiah 29:11-13~

My God is an awesome God! He is the Lord of Lords, and the King of Kings! He is in complete control, whether we know it or not, yet He gives us the free will to decide whether we want to give ourselves over to Him. And when we allow Him to, He will take care of us even more than we could ever dare to ask or hope.

I won it!

I won the book for the contest!! And I can't wait to read it... I'm going to read it over my summer vacation (which is next week). :-D I can't wait to start it!

There's another book that I need to finish next week, too. "The 5 Love Languages of Children." I've started that one, and I want to finish it before I go back to school.

I need to get ready to go to work. I'll write more later. :)

Wild Goose Chase!!

Pastor Chris has a contest on his blog at http://coffeewithchris.com/ entitled "Wild Goose Chase." Whoever has the best story of a wild goose chase that they have experienced will win Mark Batterson’s newest book (releases on 8/19/08) Wild Goose Chase!! There is only one other story posted, and though I think it deserves the win, I'll try it out and post my story.

It has taken a lot of thinking to come to a decision about what I'm chasing, and here's why: All of the "wild goose chases" that I've been on have been either spiritual or emotional. I have a lot of dreams that I ache to start chasing, but I don't know that I've started yet. And I'm always chasing after a more full and deep relationship with God, but that would be so difficult to write about in only one blog. This summer I've also had a "wild goose chase" sort of experience with a relationship with someone in my life, but that is much too personal to write about in a blog post, mostly because of the reason why it's been a Wild Goose Chase!

So, here I sit, still trying to decide what to write about. I've thought about writing about writing about a wild goose chase, but I'm not a good enough writer to make it good enough to win a prize. Here is what I have come up with:

My Life as a Wild Goose Chase

There are some people in this world who know what they want, know how to get it, and go for it. There are other people in this world who don't have any idea what they want, which enables them to have everything they want! And then there are some other people in this world who know exactly what they want, and they may even know how to get it, but they just can't bring themselves to go for it. I am sad to say that this is the category that I fall in to in much of my life.

I have a plethora of dreams. The problem is that I can't reach them... yet. Here are some of them:

• Open and run an orphanage in Mexico
• Get married and (eventually) adopt kids
• Get my masters in Elementary Education
• Work as a Children's Pastor part-time while working as an Assistant Director at a ChildTime full-time
• Be ordained as a Pastor in the Free Methodist Church
• Write curriculum for Children's Ministry
• Write at least one novel
• Write at least one devotional
• Go to Seminary for Counseling
• Become fluent in Spanish
• Sponsor as many children as I can
• Give a Bible to everyone that I know doesn't have one

There are many things on this list that I could be working on right now. For instance, I could be preparing some of the children's ministry curriculum that I have already written for publishing. Or I could be starting one of the stories that has been developing in my head for the past few years. Or I could be practicing Spanish even now, as I'm sitting at home over the summer. And the list doesn't stop there, because there are other things on the list that I left off - things like develop a better relationship with the members in my family, or be a better friend to the people I know from school, or let God's love and joy flow through me every single day wherever I am. These are goals that I have set for myself every single day, and sometimes it feels like a wild goose chase trying to accomplish them, simply because I don't want to take the necessary steps to make them happen.

The fact of the matter is that life for all of us is going to be a wild goose chase if we don't decide what it is that we want and then take action and go for it!! Over and over again in the Bible Jesus talks about taking action. Nothing will happen unless we do something about what we want.

"You miss the forest for the trees! Here I am, standing right before you, and you aren't willing to recieve from me the life you say you want!" ~ John 5:39-40 (The Message)

We need to, I need to, start recognizing the moments when I have the opportunity to chase down a dream. My dreams are far from wild geese, especially with God on my side. I just have to see them as standing right before me waiting for me to catch them.

Baby's First Steps

I know that I shouldn't have favorites, but I do. My favorite baby at Childtime took his first steps today!! And I was the one in the room with him when he did it!! It was so exciting, let me tell you -- there's nothing like seeing a baby take his first steps. And it was the first time I've seen it happen, too!

I set him down so he was standing in the middle of the room with nothing to hang on to, actually hoping that he would try to walk, but not expecting it. And then as I was picking up another baby I watched him take four good steps toward a shelf of toys...... and then fall flat on his face. It was so exciting!! Really, everyone should be able to experience a baby's first steps. There is absolutely nothing like it!

Seeking Adventure!!

This summer, God has blessed me so abundantly. He has given me a wonderful job that I enjoy and am good at. He has provided for me to see Phil and Sam often. He has provided for security in planning for next semester and on. This job that I have is one that I plan to keep even after I graduate from college -- (well, I at least plan to stay with the company. I will probably move to Rochester and try to find a job as an assistant director of a ChildTime there). I do count myself very blessed, and in so many areas of my life. So I don't want the rest of this post to sound ungrateful, because I am so thankful for the way that God has provided for me, not only this summer, but my whole life!

I feel restless. I feel like I will never be free. I will always go on doing what is expected of me and doing what is practical. I feel that I won't ever get a chance to have an adventure and just go out into the world with no plan and no security. I'm sure that practically that's a good thing, but it's something that I crave. I want to feel like I'm living!! I want to feel like I'm useful to the world. I want to go out and make a difference -- not just for a day or a week or a month, but for a lifetime! I want... I don't know what I want. All I know is that right now as I think about my life, I don't have any experiences when I just went out and did what I felt called to do.

For instance, for about 7 or 8 months now I've been feeling guilty for going to college. Spending money that I don't have and all of the money that I do have, and what for? For my education. Now, I value education as much as the next person, but to think about how $30,000 a year could change a community! It makes me ache to think about the food that I'm taking out of the mouths of children in other countries where they are starving... so that I can learn how to be a better teacher.

I'm taking a semester off of school. I will be going to school for Fall of '08 and Spring of '09 I'm taking off so that I can work and make some money. I've been thinking lately - yes, God has provided me with a secure and wonderful job here in Liverpool. He has been so good to me and everything has worked out so smoothly... but what if there's something more that I need to do? This is the time to do it!! Spring semester of '09 -- I'm going to have 8 months of no commitments (except work) in which time all I have to do is make sure that I make money. What if this is the last time I'll be able to have an adventure? I'm passing it up for the more practical plan - stay in Liverpool and keep the job I have.

Nothing will come of this. It's just how I feel. And writing helps.

And my prayer today is a song by BarlowGirl: "Surrender"

My hands hold safely to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen
So many years I've shaped each one
Reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now you're asking me to show
What I'm holding oh so tightly
Can't open my hands can't let go
Does it matter? Should I show you? Can't you let me go?

Surrender, surrender you whisper gently
You say I will be freeI know but can't you see?
My dreams are me. My dreams are me

You say you have a plan for me
And that you want the best for my life
Told me the world had yet to see
What you can do with one
That's committed to Your calling
I know of course what I should do
That I can't hold these dreams forever
If I give them now to You
Will You take them away forever?
Or can I dream again?

there's a first time for everything

today i called in sick to work for the first time. i hated doing it, especially since my director had told us that we can't take any time off in august because too many people were leaving. i hope she doesn't think that i was just trying to take a long weekend... but anyways i've been running a fever in the 100's all weekend. it was actually pretty cool, though, because when it came time for kc camp yesterday i felt fine. my throat hurt a little bit, but i didn't feel feverish and i was able to have the energy and awareness that you need when working with kids.

i just hope i feel better before tomorrow, because i don't think my concious can handle calling in sick again. plus, i forgot to clock out on friday night (oops!) haha i really must not have been feeling well